Small people with small minds are toxic. They make me doubt my sanity. Part of me wants to fight as dirty as they do. The bigger part me knows for a fact that the only way to win against small-minded people is maintain my composure and be true to who I am.
When I was much younger, I was married to a man who once accused me of actually scripting out our arguments beforehand. He was more frustrated with my refusal to blow my top than he was with whatever matter we were arguing about. Of course, it is virtually impossible to script a fight. I never truly know how the other person will act or what train of thought will provoke the strongest reaction, not really. I may have a good idea, but I have yet to meet anyone who was an open book. I won most of my arguments with him through sheer logic and respecting his position and demanding respect for mine.
A month ago, I begged a friend of mine to take some heartfelt advice. She didn’t take my request well, and felt I was being unfair. After giving her time to cool off, I tried to continue a relationship with her. A month later, she was still obsessing over my comments and refused my friendship. No problem. I wished her well, complimented the good points of the issue that caused the conflict and proceeded to move on. Somehow, I was supposed to disappear from her life and still RSVP to an event she was hosting. She pointedly invited me after telling me to go away.
I consider her small minded for not being able to take constructive criticism graceful. I haven’t decided if the rest of her behavior is because she is freaking nuts or felt the RSVP was somehow an apology and a wish to make up. Honestly, she has always been needy and self-absorbed, but we all have our faults. I was willing to overlook hers as much as I could without hurting others as I’d hoped she would overlook mine. Her behavior for the last month has pushed me beyond my limits of compassion and patience. I am much relieved to be rid of the drain.