Ghosts, Zombies, and Vampires, Oh My!

vampire girlAccording to the Washington Post, the dating world has a whole new vocabulary for people who disappear from your world, as if by magic, only to return, sometimes months later, wanting to pick up the relationship as if nothing ever happened. Those who disappear are called ghosts. Those ghosts transform into zombies when they show back up oblivious to how much time has passed or how much pain or anxiety their disappearance may have caused. In their maggot infested brains, everything is hunky dory, and you should be happy to hear from them.

I’ve had that happen to me many times, both from people have I have dated and just friends. While it can be awkward, especially if I thought we were in a close relationship, I have some friends who pop in and out of my life, and it is okay. I’d probably have already beheaded a couple of them if I had regular contact with them, but on an infrequent basis, they are great fun and add value to my life.

Some of my family members are more like ghosts and vampires. They disappear for sometimes years at a time only to reappear long enough to captivate me enough to say…loan them money so they can go on the run with a loved one who was once reported to be an FBI agent only to be later identified as working with the FBI as a snitch to eventually being wanted by the FBI. And yes, that is a true story. I have one family member who was gullible enough to not only fall for that line of BS but to following a criminal into hiding, preferably on my dime.

I hesitate to label all ghosts, zombies, and vampires as soul-draining leaches who will never add value to the lives of living, but I do caution people to pick and choose their monsters. And a huge thanks to Lisa Bonos and The Washington Post for providing such an apt label to such an annoying class of beings.

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