A bunny. Really? Looking into the pet carry that had mysteriously shown up on my doorstep, I had no idea who or why I was the lucky recipient of a real honesty-to-goodness fluffy white bunny, complete with big brown eyes and a pink nose. It looked at me with one big eye while its nose … Continue reading Bunny Hunny
Life with a Gargoyle
Life with a gargoyle isn’t easy, especially if that gargoyle is Rassmussen. The old curmudgeon collects roadkill, grouches around by night and is stone cold by day. He is opinionated, smelly and cats disappear around him. And he is my best friend. Learn more about Rassmussen by bits and pieces as the weeks go by.
Humdrum
I find myself with too much time and too little to do with Rassmussen away. I’ve considered cleaning out the basement of his roadkill collection. I even threatened him with it when he left. It didn’t help matters. He told me it was replaceable and to do whatever I liked, which immediately took all the … Continue reading Humdrum
Vote Rassmussen
Earlier, I sat at my desk, going through all the literature, comparing my options, making my list, and checking it twice. No, I’m not one of those people who shops for Christmas in August; I am a voter. Not just any voter, I am an informed voter, or at least I try to be. Rassmussen … Continue reading Vote Rassmussen
Life with a Woman
The blasted woman is on strike and has left me to write the column for this issue. Won’t even give me a byline. Said something about abusive gargoyles didn’t deserve the attention. Humph. What does she know? She’s just a female and little more than a child. Old, indeed. When she has seen as much … Continue reading Life with a Woman
A Celebrity in Our Midst
Rassmussen has gone and done it. The blasted gargoyle allowed the paparazzo to take a picture of him pissing next to the 7-11 dumpster. Fortunately, the actual stream was hidden by the gas meter, but still. . . . I wouldn’t have given them an interview, but they threatened to portray him as the real … Continue reading A Celebrity in Our Midst
Rassmussen Goes On Spring Break
Last night, I woke up one night to the clanking and banging of a madman, or so it sounded. It turned out to be Rassmussen packing for a trip. Packing meant throwing anything that wasn’t going with him about the room at random, regardless of its value, ownership, or fragile state. Fortunately, I had learned … Continue reading Rassmussen Goes On Spring Break
Orphaned Gargoyle
The woman might as well be dead for as much time as has she spent taking care of my needs lately. For the last three weeks, all it’s been is Shyster & Shyster this and Shyster & Shyster that. I heard her in the shower this morning talking to Lola Brigida like she is a … Continue reading Orphaned Gargoyle
