Lolla Brigida and Janet Shyster stumble into the Shyster & Shyster tax return preparation partnership. Accompanied by a hard-nosed female dwarf debt collector, a perpetual student intern with ADHD and a romantic interest who never gives up, the women take a humorous journey from hardly making it to losing it all to tax bracket madness.
To save their profits, Lolla and Janet turn the tax business into a church that mixes religious beliefs at will. Add a married Mother Superior, four children sold as tax deductions and an exorcism, and the women experience the miracle of true friendship and monetary success.
Shyster & Shyster Excerpt:
“Once you passed out, we created a safety circle around you. Mother Traci led us in prayer for a while, but that got boring, so Jake suggested we should take a breather and come back refreshed. The only problem was when we came back, you had locked the door and wouldn’t let us in. You kept singing something about troubling tribbles, which makes a lot more sense now. Eventually you got quiet again, and we were concerned you might have knocked yourself out or something, so Jake pulled out his revolver and blew the lock off the door. Afterwards, Traci smacked him with the ruler and threatened to tell his mother, then made Janet promise to replace the door with some antique model she found on eBay.
“We found you inside curled up in a fetal position hugging your shoes. You said the tribbles were out getting a six-pack of oysters and some scrambled ostrich eggs. Then you started crying because you didn’t see how they could possibly bring any back for you since they didn’t have arms. I have to tell you, Lolla, none of us had any idea what a tribble was. Andrew finally looked it up on his phones, so we at least knew we were looking for alien furballs, but by then, you’d given up crying in Janet’s arms and wanted to call Monkey Boy for a sleepover.
“When we tried to talk you out of a midnight hook up with a client, you reverted back to your toddler self and through a hissy fit.”
I vaguely recalled this part. Flashes of me sitting on the floor kicking my feet and pounding my fists into the ground, but most of all the recollection caused me a headache.
“Jake tried to keep you from hurting yourself, but he was already injured from Mother Traci’s ruler whack, plus you had a lot of anger built up inside of you. You eventually freed an arm and threw an elbow into his nose. I just got back from visiting him in the hospital.”
“Oh no! Is he okay?”
“Well he was an ugly old coot to begin with and it wasn’t his first broken nose, so he doesn’t look any worse for wear, other than the nose brace and two black eyes. But he’ll need at least two surgeries to remove all the loose cartilage before it travels to his brain and causes brain damage.”